Its been a long time

I haven't written since April, and that post was lyrics to a song. How lame of me.

I thought about writing about how I want to start making it a habit to post, but I know myself and I know that I will probably post a couple of times and then call it another couple of months.

I don't even really know what this is. I guess I started writing to feel connected to something larger than myself. I realize this is no better than a twitter, something I swore I would never get, but honestly thats just me trying to push away from something. I really don't care if people have them, I might even be coaxed into starting one. But in all honesty I probably wouldn't update. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing interesting to say. I know however that I have many interesting things to say and don't want the world to read most of it. I think above all I don't care about most of the crap people post about.

I hardly make facebook updates that aren't questions because i don't want to write about how I am studying or going to work or to bed early. A friend of mine put it well one time when she said "I don't ever want to have to report what I am doing to anyone"

I totally get that and am the same way. . .

Honestly my life is very different these days than it was last year.

I went from being a full time teacher to a full time Graduate student. Since I only have class 2 days a week and currently do not work (for reasons I will explain to anyone who does not know but wishes too.)

Therefore most of my time I am just hanging out at my apartment. I am not going to complain about being bored, because having the summers off when I was teaching helped me to appreciate all the me activities that I can do. Since I am clearly ADD I bounce from reading for grad school, reading for fun, watching my favorite TV shows, playing video games and playing guitar.

I still have a personal trainer and I definitely look forward to my training. I think its my favorite part of the week. Its nice to be seeing great results from that, even if I am the only one who notices (because lets be honest its not about you)

The only problem I have is I am in my head to much. I got really good at filtering my own jumpy mind. Lets see if I can explain. Simply I read to much into things. I get over anxious about stupid shit that doesn't matter. I feel like I am missing out from time to time.

What I know at the end of the day those is that I need to control this. I really need to focus and work on shit for myself. Its not often that life gives us the chance to have so much time to ourselves, and I need to make the most of it.

I have things that I want to get done, and I really feel like I need to force myself to stay focused so I have something to show for my time.

For example, I would like to finish my acoustic songs and make at least an EP for myself. I want to do the same with all my electric material.

I also have an idea for a social experiment that I want to do.

I feel like that last part falls under Carpe Diem. I really need to get myself outside and exploring and seeing where the day takes me.

Tonight I keep thinking about traveling. I want to be a nomad and see every piece of ruins this world has to offer. I just love walking in the footsteps of giants, the energy is in the air in those places, and it really gives me a crazy rush.

Someone journey with me please?

So sorry for my long rant. I hope at least 5 people who care about me read this and learn something new about me. Otherwise I don't think there is a point to posting on the internet.

Also if you read and we haven't hung out in a while, let me know because we should hang.

With Warm Regard,
Brian